Let’s start with something we all agree on…family events and get-togethers can be one of the biggest stressors over the holidays. 😩

Then there’s Clark Griswold, who makes us all feel better about our own family’s dysfunctions.

I’m guessing you want to have a happy holiday season, de-stress those dinner conversations and make deeper connections with your loved ones — friends and family — so, keep reading. I love sitting around the table having fun and lively conversations, getting to know my people better. But, lately, I’ve been wanting to take things to the next level and go even deeper with those I love. Sooooooo, I turned to the best person I know to help: Vanessa Van Edwards. Vanessa is a best-selling author, speaker, communications expert, wonderful mother and the lead investigator at Science of People. She loves to figure out what makes people tick — and people love her approach. More than 50 million people have watched her YouTube Tutorials and TEDx talk. 

It doesn’t matter if you’re an introvert, high achiever or awkward person…her concepts are for everyone. She even teaches a course on how to master the art of conversation and how asking the right questions can unleash a dopamine hit. Would you like some dopamine with your ham and mashed potatoes? I figured…So, here’s what you and I are going to TRY to do at the dinner table this year... We’re going to make deeper connections with our loved ones by asking the right questions. But, before we ambush everyone at the dinner table, let’s ask everyone to join us and tell them what we’re trying to do. Something along the lines of, “Hey, I’d love to connect more this year… I got some great questions from this lady named Vanessa. Are you in? Can we do a conversation round table? Maybe we do one question during appetizers, one at dinner and one over dessert?”Blame me. Blame Vanessa. But, let’s do this. Keep these three things in mind:1) What triggers bad conversations? Figure out what topics are off-limits.2) What don’t you know about your loved ones? What would you like to know?3) Respect your introverts and teenagers. They go last. Have the extroverts go first, second and third and make sure everyone knows that if they don’t want to go, they can say “pass.”Now that we’re ready to go, I’ll give you some sample questions. SAMPLE QUESTION #1: What’s your story? Have each person describe their own life story. SAMPLE QUESTION #2: What TV/book or movie character is most similar to you? Note: this is NOT who you aspire to be. It’s what character makes similar choices to you. This is a great question to help one another with — because this is how you’re perceived. SAMPLE QUESTION #3: How do you feel most misunderstood? People often think their answer is unique. Examples: “People often think I have it all together, but I don’t.” Or, “People think I’m happy all the time but I’m actually scared.” I can’t wait to hear how it goes! Let me know via my Instagram DM's. I’ll report back to you how it goes in my house — Jesus, take the wheel! LOL. You can listen to my entire conversation with Vanessa HERE, including her mind-blowing advice on how to get your teenagers to open up.

I’ll leave you with this… a first look at our family holiday photo, taken on Saturday. Next time we connect, I’ll tell you the back story about why we took it so late in the season, why I’m not sending out holiday cards this year and the #momfail behind it all. I’ll tell you this: Walmart was involved. Haha.Happy Holidays, friends!

FARIS FAVORITES

1. What I'm Watching: I am getting my holiday TV viewing on, friends. On Disney+: LIMITLESS with Chris Hemsworth… My family and I are obsessed with this series. Chris challenges himself in each episode, pushing his limits, and teaching us along the way. In Theaters: Ticket to Paradise with Julia Roberts and George Clooney. Great for the whole family

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I took my 82-year-old mother-in-law. We LOVED it. TV Movies: The Noel Diaries

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Photo via National Geographic

2.  What I'm Reading: Vanessa Van Edwards’ new book, CUES: Master the Secret Language of Charismatic Communication. Vanessa wants to give away two signed copies — you know the drill! Be one of the first to DM me on Instagram. Mama’s Rules: You must send your mailing address and only new winners, please. Photo via amazon.com

3.  What I'm Making: A quick little make-ahead immunity-boosting recipe that you can use when the sniffles inevitably come knocking 

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Best part? You throw it all in a blender. Photo via goodmorningamerica.com

Here's what you missed this week in The CARRY™ ALL, the weekly newsletter BY working moms, for working moms (and the Media company birthed out of my own Called Out story!)

1. Our best tips for prioritizing sleep as a working mom (and why it matters)2. A hilarious video reminding us how much our kids can change in just 8 short years 

3. A letter to the mom who won't be with her kids this Christmas4. ... and more!

The Paula Faris 'Faith & Calling' Podcast

Episode 87 with John Ruhlin — If you’re looking to end your year on a high note, love a good transformation story or want to feel inspired by the potential that awaits you in 2023, this episode marks the spot! In this episode, John breaks down the power of radical generosity, why gratitude is your competitive advantage, how he learned to normalize tension in pursuit of his calling and why he’s certain “the suck” of life often leads us to our significance. In short – don’t sleep on this conversation. John’s uncommon wisdom and unforgettable life story is one you’ve just got to hear! Listen Now>>

Episode 86 with Judah Smith — What happens when you resent what you once loved? Where do you go next? Is that a sign to try something new? If these questions hit home, turn this one up because this guest has been there and back and wants you to know you're far from alone. In this episode, I sit down with the Lead Pastor of Churchome, Judah Smith, for a raw conversation that will encourage you to stop ignoring your annoyances, know your "why" and find your margin again. Born into a long line of ministers, Judah shares what it was like to lose his dad at an early age, and how the loss of his hero took a toll on his calling. Listen Now >>