My therapist's best advice...

Plus, your turn to win!

February 19, 2026

Holy Smokes you all loved the Gary Chapman Love Language giveaway from the last newsletter! He recently released a new book called “The Love Language That Matters Most” and congrats to…

Marcia, Jessica, Susan, Sara and Tami for winning a copy. 🎉 (We’re doing it again this week, so keep reading) 

Btw, we’re talking about the Love Languages ALL MONTH on the podcast and this week’s episode is about whether or not sex is every man’s love language. Yep, we went there. LISTEN HERE

In other happenings, I’d like to share with you the latest on my journey with therapy and how it’s helped me during a particularly tough time.

I had been dreading Valentine's Day weekend because it marked the anniversary of my parents death. Dad passed on February 15th (2019) and Mom passed on February 16th (2025), so this marked a full year without her. And today, February 19th, would have been my parents 60th wedding anniversary. ♥️

So many emotions and feelings and to be frank, I’M NOT GOOD AT PROCESSING THEM. 

My therapist–who I’ve been seeing for a month–encouraged me to channel those feelings by doing some special things to honor both of them and it was not only helpful, it felt celebratory. 

To honor dad, we wore Michigan Football paraphernalia–in particular, I wore his Michigan Alumni sweatshirt. To honor mom, we bought her favorite roses (deep pink) and ate rice pudding, which was something she was famous for in our house. We also shared our favorite memories of them around the dinner table. (This is something we’ll do every year as a way to celebrate them)

And then I channeled all those big feelings into completing something I’d been wanting to, but hadn’t had the energy or emotional capacity to: I finished their memory wall, which is in our hallway. I’m showing you a photo because it gives me such joy and I can feel their presence every time I walk past.

You’ll see my dad’s military flag wrapped in his Marine dog tags, plus a large photo from his training camp, their wedding photo, flanked by the very last family photo we took with everyone from 2018. 

All that to say, I am SO GRATEFUL for all of you who encouraged me to go to therapy, it’s been incredibly helpful. If you’re navigating some tough stuff, I highly encourage you to pursue therapy with every ounce of your being. We’re not meant to carry life alone and talking about it with a professional is a necessary first step.

Don’t know where to turn? Start by asking your family doctor, your OBGYN, clergy, a divorce attorney or your trusted friends for a recommendation. I found mine by going through my family doctor, who wrote a referral and provided several suggestions. 

One last note, in the next month or so, I’ll be switching email platforms, so my newsletter may have a different look/feel. There’s nothing you need to do, just wanted to give you a heads-up. You’ll have more opportunities to connect with one another and build community, which I’m really excited about. 

Until next time, friends. xo 

-Paula 

FARIS FAVORITES 🤎

1. Our New Favorite INTENSE Thriller

New Show Alert! I love a thriller and my friend Meredith recommended our newest obsession: The Day Of The Jackal. It’s a British Spy Thriller based on a popular novel which centers around a ruthless British assassin (and former military) known as “The Jackal” and the intelligence officer that’s intent on capturing him. It gets a surprisingly high audience rating and is signed for Season 2. WARNING: It’s intense, so don’t watch it around littles, or right before bed. 

2. Use My DISCOUNT For Groceries!

Because I love saving time and money on food, I’m thrilled to tell you about my new go-to, Thrive Market! Sign up with my discounted link and get 30% off your first order, plus $60 in free gifts! Thrive Market beats inflated grocery prices on your favorite healthier pantry snacks and staples. Plus, they deliver straight to your door. That’s my kind of jam.

3. Dr. Gary Chapman Giveaway: Part 2!

I’m giving away FIVE more copies of Dr. Gary Chapman’s newest book, “The Love Language That Matters Most”. If you want to snag a copy, DM me your mailing address on IG and you’ll be notified if you’ve won. Again, I’ll need your mailing address so we can mail it to you. Congrats to Marcia, Jessica, Susan, Sara and Tami for winning in my last newsletter! 🎉

THE PAULA FARIS SHOW 🎙️

Why Love Breaks Down (Even When You’re Trying)

You can be doing all the “right” things—and still missing each other.

In part two of our month-long series on The Five Love Languages, we dive into Dr. Chapman’s newest book, The Love Language That Matters Most—what he calls the masterclass on love languages, to explore why good intentions miss the mark.

We dig into the gap between intention and impact—and why so many relationships feel stuck despite trying harder

Also, John and I take the premium assessment, and our results genuinely shock us—we did not see them coming.

And coming up next: sex, physical touch, and why it’s not a sixth love language (that conversation might surprise you).

Is Sex Every Man’s Love Language?

Sex. Almost every man will say it’s their love language.

But Dr. Gary Chapman—the expert behind The Five Love Languages—explains why that’s not quite right, and makes a crucial distinction between physical desire and emotional connection.

John and I dig into what this really means for intimacy, unpacking the science behind male vs. female sexual needs and why understanding your partner’s love language can change everything.

We also explore how love languages show up in parenting—and how to recognize them in your kids.

⚠️Warning: we go there. Sex, chemistry, and the truths you’ve been too polite to ask about.

Join the Conversation!

If you’ve made it this far, I invite you to join (or start) the conversation in our comments section. What would you like to share? -Paula

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