How I spent my 50th bday...

Plus, your moving comments about loss.

October 29, 2025

It’s official, friends. I’m half a century old. Turned the big 5-0 over the weekend and one of the highlights was buying a Costco Membership. 

Not sure there’s anything that screams middle-age more than getting excited about a Costco Membership, eh? Haha. 

It was a great weekend filled with youth sports (baseball, basketball), a Halloween Party, steak b-day dinner with my family, Michigan football and an unexpected overnight stay in the Emergency Room. 

Let’s just say upper respiratory infections and laryngitis are not to be messed with. I woke up in the middle of the night and couldn’t breathe, did my nebulizer twice (I have asthma) and when that didn’t help, John rushed me to the E.R. I’m on meds, now and so grateful to have access to wonderful care at my local hospital. 

Still, it was a great weekend with lots of family quality time, that not even a trip to the E.R. could dampen. 

In other news, I’m wrapping up our month-long podcast series on Grief/Loss this week with an episode on Giving Ourselves Permission to Dream Again after Grief and Loss, which is a hope-filled way of signing off on these healing conversations. 

Gauging the reaction to the series, I  had NO IDEA how much we all needed to talk about this. Your comments and messages to me have left me with sad and happy tears–stories of loss of job, loss of a life once had, loss of a dream, loss of loved ones and relationships. And yet, the redemption and hope on the other side. You had SO MUCH to say and I didn’t want to edit or censor, so I included as many of your comments as I could at the bottom of the email. It’s a continual reminder that loss is inevitable, grieving is necessary and we’re not alone in it. LISTEN TO THE SERIES HERE

Today, I’m recording next month’s podcast series which is all about MIDLIFE. We’re going to have a bit of fun and I’m joined by my hubby and good friend, Liz, talking about the weird things we do in midlife, how we extend our quality of life, plus our new description of a “midlife crisis”. 

Signing off, now. It’s almost 9pm. And now that I’m 50, an early bedtime is very exciting. 🙂

Love,
Paula xo

Will A Book Grow Your Business?

No one buys a beach house from book sales—they buy it from what the book makes possible.

Author.Inc helps founders turn ideas into world-class books that build revenue, reputation, and reach.

Book a free 15-minute ROI call to see if your book is a go—or a smart wait.

FARIS FAVORITES 🤎

1. My New Favorite Mother-Daughter Show!

My daughter and I have found a new show to watch and we’re OBSESSED: Poldark. It’s a BBC show that’s recently been released on Netflix, about Captain Ross Poldark, a British Soldier who returns to Cornwall (England) after the American Revolutionary War, only to find his father dead and his true love about to marry someone else. Bonus: It’s TV-14, so you can watch safely with your teens.

2. Last Chance… 70% Off Closet Sale!

Last chance to get your hands on my closet sale and everything is 70% off which means you’re getting these clothes for pennies on the dollar, featured by The Saved Collection. The sale price is added once the items are added to your shopping cart. Happy shopping, friends! SHOP HERE

3. Giveaway - Lysa TerKeurst’s New Book!

Because so many of you were interested in Lysa TerKeurst’s upcoming book about divorce, we’re doing another giveaway! Her book, “Surviving An Unwanted Divorce” releases next month and this is your chance to win a copy.  DM me on Instagram with your mailing address, or reply to this email with your mailing address and claim the book. Five of you will win!

In our last poll, we talked about grieving our losses and over 77% of you said that you’ve lost a LOVED ONE. I’ve never included so many of your responses, but I was so moved by them that I wanted you to read as many as possible. This section is MUCH LONGER than normal, but I think you’ll be encouraged to read other peoples’ stories, knowing you’re not alone.” 

➡️ “The death of my marriage and the loss of the life that I thought I would have. Even though I know it’s for the best, the loss of what could have been or should have been is crushing me.”

➡️ “I lost my church, the job I loved, and the grandpa I adored all in the space of 14 months. Grief is hard, and it can be due to many different things. The important thing is we recognize it and take the time and space to work through it. Thank you so much for this series on grief and loss!”

➡️ “I feel like I have lost MYSELF along the way. Being in my 40s, two grown children, married for 20 years, perimenopause. I just feel like I don’t know who I am anymore.”

➡️ “The loss of the mother I used to know before she suffered from dementia.”

➡️ “Lost my mom two months ago tomorrow. Looking forward to the podcast.”

➡️ “I lost my dad to pancreatic cancer when he was only 58. That was 15 years ago and I miss him everyday.”

➡️ “I lost my brother 2 years ago to cancer… I miss him and think of him everyday… grief is continuous.”

➡️ “My husband of 24 years. A year after losing my Mom.”

➡️ “I lost my father on October 8, 2025. We had been estranged for a good portion of my life following my parents divorce. I always pursued a relationship with him over the years. After the death of my stepmother in Feb. 2020, we were able to make many memories together. My middle daughter and I were his caregivers in the last couple years. God was gracious to allow us to have these past 5+ years. I know I will see him again. I think I am mourning the loss of what should have been while so grateful for what was. Sorry for the loss of your beloved mother.”

➡️ “I unexpectedly lost my brother to what we can only believe was a heart attack in January. Grief is so heavy, I only wish to hug him and hear from him one more time❤️ I wish to mend the hole but I’m not sure where to begin. Why—when speaking of my loss—do I feel so broken and cry as the words fall out of my mouth? We have lost both of our parents as well.😢”

➡️ “In 2021 my husband and I moved from CO after being there for 23 years to TX to be closer to my mom in Kansas. She passed away in Sept. 2023 and I am still having a difficult time.”

➡️ “My older brother passed away suddenly six months ago. You just don't expect a sibling to die. I know that sounds silly because we all die eventually. It's a different heartache when a sibling passes as opposed to your parents.”

➡️ “I lost my dad to cancer in 2022 and my mom to Alzheimer’s two day before Christmas in 2023. Like you Paula, I am struggling HARD. I have 3 teenagers at home and life is so busy I feel like I never got a moment to process the deaths of my parents. Thank you for this series. Every bit so far has resonated with me. Thankful for you and your willingness to cover this important topic. 🙏🏻🫶”

➡️ ”The death of my mother in 2020 from Covid before any vaccines were even available. Having her CALL ME from the nursing home to come get her when that was not possible still wrecks me.”

➡️ “There are a lot of types of grieving and now I’m grieving the relationship with my mom, she is still alive but after so much, the relationship was toxic, boundaries and trust were broken. I’m grieving that relationship and I miss her but me and my family are better without her presence.”

➡️ “My mom passed away with a sudden quick decline in Feb '24 and it has been the hardest grief to journey through. Much better now, but any grief support groups are helpful. I’ve gone to maybe 4 different GriefShare ones, all so helpful. Even though my husband is wonderful, I still don’t want to burden him more than I need to and the anxiety associated with grief also keeps hitting after that first rough year. But learning about it and getting support is key. And lots of time spent outside putting in a ton of landscaping and working in the yard! That helps too! 😉”

➡️ “My husband of 36 years passed away after a 30 year battle with prostate cancer. He was just 62. I am so sad. We have 2 children and 2 grandsons and another will be here in December.”

➡️ ”Lost mom and sister a year apart from each other. As I am now planning my sister’s service, dealing with (peri?) Meno symptoms, my daughter moving to England for uni, and the reminder (on your podcast) of losing a job / career path so many years ago but still stings, I realize I have a lot to work through. Thanks for what you’re doing!”

➡️ “My husband collapsed playing basketball; the other guys didn’t know CPR or the address of their court: so that delay was enough for my husband to suffer from hypoxia. We are blessed that he was able to be an organ donor. We were married almost 27 years and had a 25 yr old daughter and a 21 year old son at the time of his death.”

➡️ “A mother should never have to bury a child. The worst loss ever.”

➡️ “I lost my dad two years ago. He was absolutely the rock of our family and we are blessed beyond measure that he was ours. I still miss him every day. My way of healing was to thank God for him every time I felt sad, because I am so grateful to have had a dad, a leader and a wonderful example like him to follow.”

THE PAULA FARIS SHOW 🎙️

GOOD GRIEF: How To Grieve And Why You Can’t Do It Alone

Grief changes you—but does it define you? In this third episode of our month-long series on grief and loss, I’m sitting down with Dr. Henry Cloud, Jessica Honegger, and Annie F. Downs to talk about what happens after loss.

Everyone expects you to “get over it” in a year, to go back to who you were before. But what if you can’t? What if you’re not supposed to?

Dr. Cloud shares why grief isn’t about “filling the hole,” but about changing your relationship to what you’ve lost. Jessica opens up about the scars—both physical and emotional—that still ache long after the loss of her marriage. Annie shares the pain of grieving dreams that haven’t yet come true—the longing to be a wife and a mom—and how that kind of grief can feel invisible. And I talk about losing both of my parents and feeling that loss so viscerally, it still takes my breath away.

This conversation isn’t about moving on. It’s about learning to live forward—different, maybe, but still whole.

GOOD GRIEF: Are We ever The Same After Grief And Loss?

Continuing our month-long series on grief and loss, I’m in conversation with Dr. Henry Cloud, Annie F. Downs, and Jessica N. Turner about the tricky, messy, and deeply human process of grief.

We talk about the questions everyone asks but few know the answers to: When should I grieve? How do I actually grieve? And what am I supposed to do with all this grief?

We dig into why grief isn’t something you handle alone—why having people around who truly see you makes all the difference. We talk about the difference between private and secret grief, why crying isn’t weakness, and how shame and guilt can quietly block your healing.

Plus, we get real about the non-linear nature of grief—how sadness, anger, denial, and acceptance can show up in any order, and sometimes years later. By the end, we realize that grief isn’t about finishing—it’s about learning to carry the love and loss in a way that lets life, and hope, back in.

Join the Conversation!

If you’ve made it this far, I invite you to join (or start) the conversation in our comments section. What would you like to share? -Paula

Reply

or to participate.