What does it mean to lead yourself?

As I write this, I’m headed to Colorado for a women’s retreat. Where we’re going, I’m told, we’ll have virtually no internet and little connection to the outside world. We’ll be kid-less and phone-less. OFF THE GRID. 

I even turned my out-of-office on. (It felt great, by the way.) 

My friend Jo Saxton, who regularly contributes to CARRY Media™ as a leadership expert for The CARRY™ ALL (our weekly newsletter to help mommas on their workplace journey), wrote something for us this week that I’m trying to take to heart while I’m away.

She said if we want to be healthy leaders at home and at work, we need to learn how to LEAD OURSELVES. We need to develop habits that will allow us to thrive. Unfortunately, most of us, myself included, have been doing our best to just survive. 

A few of those habits Jo suggested are: 

• Physical: A daily walk or a workout (even if it's 5 minutes), and drinking water.

• Emotionally: Working on the broken pieces of our stories (aka THERAPY).

• Relational Habits: Regular meaningful connection with our children and partner.

• Spiritual Habits: Space for reflection and prayer.

• Work Habits: An appointment with yourself at the start of the workday to establish your priorities and ask for help.

• Feeding your mind and soul: Books, music, podcasts, and walks to a local lake.

I’ll go ahead and put it out there, I’ve got some work to do! But, I’m going to tackle just two of these categories, for now. 

This week, while I’m off-the-grid, I’m re-committing myself to spiritual and relational habits. I don’t take much time to reflect, meditate and slow down. I’m so epically bad at it, a few years ago I got “BE STILL” tattooed on my wrist as a reminder to slow the heck down. 

And, when it comes to relational habits, I'm working on learning to just sit with my kids. Undistracted. Unhurried. Unplanned. 

When they want to talk, talk. When they want to play ball, play ball. To be in the moment with them. 

In fact, just a few days ago, as we were all getting ready for school, my teenage daughter Caroline was sitting on the kitchen floor, combing her hair. I don’t know why she was sitting on the ground. (She’s a teenager…I’ve stopped trying to figure teens out.) Usually, I’m running around like a madwoman making sure everyone has their lunches, snacks, water bottles and backpacks. Parents — you know this well!  But, instead, I decided to sit with her. No phones. No agenda. Just to have a moment and listen. To connect. 

I can’t fully express it, but it meant a lot to her. To just SIT with her. And, to be honest, it was a special moment for me, too. Those moments don’t have to be big and they’re rarely planned. All it takes is for us to recognize it before the moment is gone. 

The Paula Faris 'Faith & Calling' Podcast

Episode 58 with Emmanuel Acho – These are wild times we are all living through, ripe with conflict and confusion. No matter the personal circumstances you're up against, we all could use a safe space to talk about the issues in our hearts - a space where shame isn't allowed. I sat down with

Emmanuel Acho, former NFL player, current Fox Sports analyst and the host of the viral hit video series "Uncomfortable Conversations with a Black Man." Hear how the combination of seeing a need, turning inward and ignoring what everyone around him called "logic" led him to turn on the camera, pick up the microphone and invite others into a long-overdue uncomfortable conversation.

Listen Now!

Episode 59 with Mandisa – 

Have you ever been in a season of confusion, doubt or pain and felt like God didn’t hold up His end of the bargain? My guest this week knows that space of heartbreak intimately. Grammy Award-winning music artist, season 5 “American Idol” finalist, Mandisa, joins me for an honest and raw conversation about wrestling with God, navigating depression and fighting through the shadows to find God’s light. Find out how she kept singing in the midst of ordinary jobs and in the midst of extraordinary fears, like facing Simon Cowell on national TV. Yet another reminder that nothing is wasted when it comes to our faith and calling! 

Listen Now!

FARIS FAVORITES

1. "American Underdog: The Kurt Warner Story" — This remarkable story is about Kurt Warner going from supermarket Shelf Stocker to MVP of the Super Bowl in a matter of years. I know this came out several months ago. And, yes, I interviewed Dennis Quaid about his role in the movie…but, I finally watched the movie (on my flight to Colorado) and was literally crying tears of joy! If you’re having doubts regarding what you’re being called to, if you’re experiencing setback after setback, I highly recommend. ALSO: It’s family-friendly. Photo via www.americanunderdoginspires.com2. Today is the release date for Shannon Bream's new book, "Mothers and Daughters of the Bible Speak." I’m looking forward to reading this one and will be joining Shannon soon on Fox to talk about it — I’ll let you know the details!3. Pro-Tip for Anyone on the Go: Jo Saxton talked about feeding your mind and soul through books. But, we don't always have time to sit down and open up a good book. Instead, listen to audiobooks when you’re in the car, on your run, doing dishes or folding that mountain of laundry — and if you don’t want to pay for Audible, check out Hoopla or Libby for free with your library card.